Cheers to Mike Van Leesten and all he did toward building a more just world in kind and powerful ways.

When I’m making a guest book for a memorial service, I think about the moments people have with it.

You’re heading into an event that is doubtless pretty heavy. You might not even notice yourself signing your name and maybe quickly adding in the name of the person next to you for expediency, for record you were there. But that moment offers a high-speed meditation to prepare your brain for the grief you’re about to witness and feel and celebrate. It’s the gear shift between the quotidian and the inconceivable.

Or maybe you notice the book after the ceremony and you have a glass of wine and someone has given you a small sandwich that is designed to maintain your social dignity. You have made it through prayers and thoughtfully-crafted words and songs with surprise-to-you emotions together with all of these people, and that relief allows you to pen a few lines of remembrance. You are not quite sure where this book will go afterwards.

Whether the book owner keeps it closed for eternity so as not to open the pain, or daily examines how many people loved the person they loved, the guest book is a record of care.

• Soundtrack: Julianna Barwick – Sanguine; Tierra Whack – Whack World; Dry Bread – Yamar b/w Words To My Song; serpentwithfeet – soil; Smooth Soul: Volume 1– I Found a Love